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双语幽默两则

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发表于 2009-8-25 14:51:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Gardening Gloves  
" P7 L' ?1 z! s* Y# z: Y0 dFor months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you'll notice that my hands are bare."  
# h  R2 I. X; f* oLater that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.
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园艺手套
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几个月以来,我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指,因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天,我正在干园艺活时,丈夫问我想要什么礼物。我举起双手说:“嗯,你肯定看到了,我的两手都是光光的。”  那天晚上,我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的礼物。“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看:里面包着一双园艺手套。1 L# G; C6 A5 I( }

; D. b. A5 t4 r) AWhat's your name?  
3 l+ V0 x) F4 f4 V# h( m! A( L0 r* C9 ~A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:"My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together"  2 m2 i( U2 R9 Z0 W4 V
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name."Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,"He said,"and don't forget to call me 'sir'".  + I  r8 Z' H& U. ^0 r: ]1 a3 z
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,"When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier?"  . L2 X5 C8 M) u. a" |$ r# h
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied."My name is Stonebreaker,sir"he said nervously.  2 S; I9 X  h7 h

5 n6 e& `# r$ T8 J你叫什么名字?8 B5 {, V6 {9 w# o2 r- V' g. k

& T  ^2 T# j  b. a7 ]- n有一位很严厉的军官在对一群交由他训练的新兵训话。他以前从没见过这群新兵,于是他开始自我介绍:“我的名字叫Stone(石头),事实上,我甚至比石头更强硬。这就是我为什么要告诉你们我名字的原因。不要试图对我玩什么花招,这样我们就能很好相处了。”  
& i" }) ?4 M. Y$ a" m; e- b接着他开始走到每个士兵前面问他们的名字。“说大声点,让每个人都能听清楚。另外,不要忘记称呼我为长官。”他说。; e. V6 X+ T% ?! W: R

% q5 n% b+ H/ i) |每个士兵都对他说了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前时,这个士兵保持着沉默。于是Stone队长对他喊叫,“当我问你问题的时候,要回答!我再问一遍,你的名字,士兵?”  
4 {7 i. K  P  U: _那个新兵很不高兴,但最后他回答了。“我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石机),长官。”他紧张的说。
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