『双语博客』洋拉拉告诉你：与女同交谈的十大禁句

铂金气质

在Asylum看到一篇挺好玩的老外博客《10 Things You Should Never Say to a Lesbian（十大绝对不要跟拉拉说的话）》，一个女同志(Nikki Dowling，下图里的红衣女就是她)给所有男性同胞列出来的绝对不要跟拉拉说的十大“禁句”。听说现在大学里男同女同都越来越多了，大家也应该学习学习如何不要冒犯人家哦。女同虽然是女的，可也有不少甚为彪悍的mm哦，小心被扁。。。下面是JuliaD为大家翻译的全文：
2 x5 Z0 A1 U7 ^, t0 p5 D! ULesbians are great for hanging out with, talking to about sports and beating you in arm wresting. Unfortunately, the porn industry has also done a pretty good job of convincing you lesbians also want to have sex with you.
广大男同胞们，其实跟拉拉做“兄弟”是很好的，一起玩啦，聊聊体育啦，还能跟你掰腕子把你给赢了。可惜的是，A片业的工作做得实在是太好了，搞得你们男的都觉得拉拉也有可能跟你OOXX。
Luckily, this real, flesh-and-blood lesbian to set you straight (heh). Without further ado, here are a few lines that are almost certain to get you ousted from lesbian ladies night at your local pool hall.
现在好了，让我这个活生生的拉拉来给你上一课吧。开门见山吧，下面就是十个绝对会让你被拉拉们胖揍一顿的“禁句”。
10. “You just haven’t met the right guy yet.” No, but I certainly seem to be talking to the wrong one right now. Maybe you haven’t met the right guy.
10、“你只是没遇到对的男人啦。” 去你的吧。不过按照现在的情况，我今天确实没遇到对的男人，你就很错。话说回来，你是不是也没遇到对的“男人”啊？遇到了你就同了？
9 i% u. j$ z) B; }( \  b9 A9. “Wanna have a threesome?” No, but I’ll take your girl home and teach her a thing or two about what she’s been missing.
9、“想玩3P不？”去你的吧。我倒是可以把你女朋友带回家教她些你不能满足她的招数。
$ }7 D  q9 }' N4 S$ f8 Y4 c4 b5 D8. “Lesbians can’t have sex.” Oh yeah? You just keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel better
8、“拉拉的ooxx都不是真的ooxx。”哈，你就这么自欺欺人下去吧，只要能让你心里舒服点就行了。
$ U& g( t  C9 s# Y# x$ n1 B9 ~7. “So who’s the man in your relationship?” Maybe you didn’t notice but there is no man in this relationship because we’re both girls. That’s sorta the point of being gay.
5 i, q- v0 J9 [0 f+ M8 x  K 7、“那你们俩谁演男的啊？” 我俩都是女的，所以没有男的。我们要是想要男的，就不拉拉了。
' E% J% b5 s$ S: L6. “You don’t look gay.” What is that supposed to mean? Just because I’m not wearing a bandanna and baggy jeans and riding in a pickup truck doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with you. Go away.
7 v% t* p, X6 N  ?$ r* ~3 G( e 6、“真看不出来你是拉拉啊。”您到底啥意思啊？老娘确实没戴头巾，没穿拖拖拉拉的牛仔裤，没开小卡车，可这不代表我就想跟你滚床单。哪儿凉快哪儿呆着去。
5. “How do you know you’re gay? Are you sure?” If you want me to answer this honestly, you’d better sit down because it’s going to take a while. See, I have to tell you about the painful realization that started when I was 14, and the agonizing coming-out process. But I probably don’t want to share this with a complete stranger, so it’s likely I’ll just tell you that, if I had any doubts before I met you, they’re gone now.
5、“你怎么知道自己是同性爱啊？你确定不？” 想听真话的话，您最好坐下来听我细说。要说就要从我十四岁就走上的这条痛苦的自我认识之路开始了，还要加上荆棘满途的出柜经历。可惜的是，我可不想跟个陌生人掏心掏肺的。就这么跟你说吧：要是说遇到你之前我还对自己的性向存疑的话，现在我就完全可以肯定了。
- G6 F$ F6 j- A3 r/ M, z4 _$ Y4. “I think they should just give gay people civil unions.” Gee, thanks so much for your support! Separate But Equal is always the way to go, right?
/ i" ]0 P* b- N* R! a 4、“我觉得同志可以民事结合[1]啦。”噢，多谢您支持啊。种族隔离一样就最好了是吧，正常婚姻是你们异性恋的，我们就只有“民事结合”了。
/ V+ G- ?* M. P# l3. “But you’ve been with a man, right?” Yes, take a deep breath. I know what I’m “missing,” and I gotta tell you, fellas, it’s not much. Also, don’t take the fact that I’ve been with a dude as an invitation to question my sexuality.
3、“不过你之前交过男朋友吧？” 是的，我交过，深呼吸一下。我知道我“错过”的是什么。跟你直说了吧，我一点都不觉得可惜。还有，不要因为我交过男朋友就开始怀疑我的性向。
2. “Dyke.” Don’t use this word. Somehow it has snuck into everyday vernacular, but it’s derogatory and offensive. File it under “homophobic” and shut up.
: G1 c2 z* I$ F! K! u# b6 t, W, s. @ 2、“Dyke。”别用这个词了。虽然这个被用来指代女同志的词已经家喻户晓了，但其实这词是贬义的，而且很让人不爽。从今以后就把这词归到“同志恐惧症”一栏吧，闭上你的鸟嘴。
1. “Can I watch?” No.
: w1 a2 n% q. u' G* J; z# d 1、“你俩OOXX的时候我能看不？” 去你的吧。
注[1]：civil unions 民事结合，只经过政府公证的婚姻，区别于传统的附有宗教意义的婚姻。不少国家同性可以公证结婚，但不能进入教堂。相当于中国的领证不办酒吧。
PS：感觉这个跟【老外说性】里的Dan很是异曲同工啊，这个同志女同学很是火爆啊，看来实在是被这些“禁句”折腾得够呛吧。