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F*ck My Life是个很好玩的网站 我觉得应该把它翻译成“我的操蛋生活” 没事的时候很喜欢去里面溜达 里面的FML千奇百怪' n' R9 g" A2 ^
我选了几个Top FML，并附上翻译:
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Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
) _4 |" t. \; ?8 M今天，上课的时候我睡着了，我穿着运动裤，当时勃起了。我的老师走过来一把抓住了我的JJ，她以为那是我的手机，真操蛋！& f1 V) u( K* |: i
. N: N4 i( J5 R- e* V* t5 KToday, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML+ X4 ^1 G: w; f u
今天，我听到我姐姐在她房间里SY的声音，于是我就出去溜狗了，当我回来的时候正碰到她从她的房间走出来，手里拿着我的电动牙刷！真操蛋！* N! [2 H: J; O3 c" K1 w
3 Q8 J) A2 o& g8 IToday, I got my first kiss. I'm 56. FML
' H7 D4 e/ P, {3 f X今天，我得到了我的初吻，我56岁了，真操蛋！' P' i/ ]* r- @& C4 n
( U" {* ?) @- W! W( yToday, I was pulled over by a cop. Why? Apparently, it is suspicious for a dark-skinned man to drive his white girlfriend home past midnight. It "looks like a kidnapping." FML+ \# p* u" B) S8 ?# }( O9 k% U
今天，我被一个警察拦住，为啥呢？很显然，一个黑人在半夜驾车拉载他的白人女友，看上去很像一场绑架案，真操蛋！ ~: B7 W& L9 @- ^3 U+ j( H- K
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Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML5 u) D) f. O& |2 k: d$ a
今天，我秘密的把我的一家人和我女友一家人约到了一个饭店，我付费让饭店演奏浪漫的音乐，我订了最好的座位，当我们吃完饭，两家人聚到了一起，我向我的女友求婚，她大笑，说：“没门儿。” 真操蛋！5 o9 _, s- A& p$ T, s V0 D
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Today, I called my girlfriend to ask her tothe movies. She declined and said she was sick and was going to sleep.Wanting to see the movie, I invited my mom and we went. My mom thenpointed out my "sick" girlfriend making out with a guy. My mom threw afull bag of popcorn at her. FML* ^. M) u5 j4 R9 m
今天，我打电话邀请我的女友看电影，可她说她生病了打算要睡觉了。但我很想看这部电影，于是我就带上老妈一起去看了。我老妈在电影院一下就指出我那个“生病”的女友--正和一个男人混在一起，于是我老妈把整整一袋苞米花朝她扔了过去！真操蛋！; }8 s; a; }" H
9 X: K9 t5 g; S6 rToday, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML+ I" B/ t3 \5 y5 h+ q2 j! v. Y
今天，我正和我男友XX，当他要XX的时候声嘶力竭的大喊：“哦，布莱特妮！”可我的名字不叫布莱特妮，那是我姐姐的名字，真操蛋！
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2 d8 B( r* U4 S* o4 F( [Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML& G& i3 w2 z. H4 ]
今天，我看到一个老人困在了人行横道里，我就跳下我的自行车去帮他，当我把他带到马路对岸的时候，绿灯亮了，当时我就发现我的手机掉到马路中央了，并被好几辆车轧了过去，然后我发现我的自行车也被人偷了，真操蛋！ q4 [" q( p, q7 x2 w5 j/ n
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Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML5 L, Y4 R7 G% u/ [( Y0 y" o
今天，我的老板把我叫到他的办公室要让我看一下某个要合作的客户的网站，当他在google里输入“virginia”（弗吉尼亚州 ）的时候，输入框下面自动显示出他最近相关词的搜索历史“virgin boy assholes”（太不和谐了，我就不翻译了）而我明天还得和他一起去商务旅行，我还是个少男。真操蛋！) _: ~& O' ^9 c" r$ F- U
. ~) q( F1 C' R# h) K2 dToday, I was talked into having sex with my boyfriend of 4 years. I had always wanted to wait till marriage but my boyfriend convinced me otherwise. Once we were done, he said he could never marry me because I was no longer pure. FML
4 C5 p5 o6 g, F- C A今天，我被我处了4年的男友说服，和他发生了XX关系，其实我一直想等到结婚后再发生但还是被他说服了，当我们做完了，他对我说：“我不能和你结婚了，因为你现在已经不纯洁了。”真操蛋！$ P6 H6 x, N* N& i3 m( |0 x
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Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML! V! k* m. u" v5 A; n
今天，我被诊断怀孕了，我一直和我的老公很想要一个宝宝，我太兴奋了我要马上告诉他，当我打开他的办公室门想给他一个惊喜并告诉他这个消息的时候，我看到他正在和一个男人XX，真操蛋！% @, h0 K/ a7 X8 a0 y
% K3 k0 S5 D0 X& {: r3 p( MToday, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML& H$ f7 q2 b7 o- f) v' i
今天，我的女儿我问我我的第一次XX是什么是时候，我说：“22岁。”她大喊：“打败你了！”她现在才13岁。真操蛋！; d; `+ u1 ?+ X+ v3 w2 B
4 K: p1 V0 ?) V& r9 \% sToday, my teenage stepdaughters, as a punishment for refusing to buy them iphones, told my wife they saw me in town kissing an attractive blonde and grabbing her ass (all invented). She believed it and i'm single. I've been faithful and feeding the whole family for 10 years. FML
' Z9 y X4 T# j9 N* L" _1 |* t9 p今天，我十几岁的继女因为我拒绝给她们买iphone，作为报复，告诉我妻子她们在城里看到我和一个金发美女接吻，我还抓她的PP。我的妻子居然相信了！现在我单身了，我对她一直很忠实，并养活这一家子十多年！真操蛋！" c8 Q- H4 R$ W; }* M3 [
+ n* z; f* O" q5 I. LToday, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML* ?' J+ L! [+ J6 T6 k U9 Z" V3 O
今天，我咬了我男友的脖子，当时我觉得有什么流进了我的嘴里，后来发现我把他脖子上的一个青春痘咬破了。真操蛋！
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Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML3 r, D' }& X+ d! b p& \3 [
今天，我突发奇想，觉得趁我室友睡觉的时候朝他嘴里放屁一定很好玩，于是我走到他旁边，脱下我的睡裤想要放屁，但我居然没控制好一不小心拉到他的脸上了（OMG），后来他就醒了把我打得都出血了。真操蛋！. B. P) c' G1 n# K
$ h8 m# _& @7 A1 c4 tToday, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML6 d5 f1 f$ ~5 t- y9 d: @$ Z
今天，我回家发现我之前用来SY的袜子居然被画上了一双圆溜溜的大眼睛和一张嘴，上面还贴着张字条：“因为你找不到真实版的女孩，我就把你现在用的版本弄得更好看了一点儿，爱你的 妈妈。”真操蛋！
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' l( A3 A; s `5 T4 @& f- vToday, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML4 Z" s2 h7 b- B* q9 ?. b
今天，我忘了做我的法语作业，但既然是网上作业，我就告诉我的老师我的网络坏了--通过电子邮件。真操蛋！* Y1 x7 a- Q) S; Z% ^4 Q
4 t& V+ X& e7 h% ~+ l5 W4 n! p) R5 qToday, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML4 U2 U- i/ u6 i7 W8 M( z+ L
今天，我数学测试了，我的教授没有花费时间标出我的错题，他直接在卷子底下画了一个大圈儿，写着：“OMG（我的天！）” 真操蛋！
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Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML4 v; e: Q8 |0 |) G0 I# T
今天，我5岁大的女儿正在看动画片，然后电视上播出了芭比娃娃的广告，我的女儿跟着广告歌一起唱：“想做什么样的人，就做什么样的人，芭~~比~~” 然后她转过身来对我说：“妈咪，我想做个hooker（妓女）。”真操蛋！
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- t# z7 y( v$ p' K9 `5 n6 n! X" MToday, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML$ {" j6 a k9 b& A
今天，我正在打盹，我的两岁大的女儿因为害怕雷雨想爬上我的床，我以为她是我养四只猫里的某一只，一脚把她踹飞了，她当时就撞墙上了。真操蛋！% c5 w) P' _$ p/ X# b2 O
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Today, my boyfriend of almost a year told me he thinks he might be gay. I took off my shirt, sexily climbed over him and began to kiss him passionately. "What do you think now?" I said seductively. His response? "Now I'm sure I'm gay." FML
% q( {) l1 P4 ?今天，我处了快一年的男友告诉我他可能是gay。我脱掉上衣，爬上他的身体，并且充满激情的亲吻他，然后诱惑十足的问他：“那你现在觉得呢？” 他回答：“现在我确定我是gay了！” 真操蛋！ |
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发表于 2009-9-20 14:57:04
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发表于 2009-9-20 17:54:03
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